It is an undeniable reality that life, in general, is busy. With long work hours and bills to pay, there are so many things going on that we must and are expected to do. With the increase in pressures and demands in daily life, it is very common for people to feel exhausted and burnt out.
Burnout is a state of exhaustion caused by chronic stress. According to the World Health Organisation, it is classified as “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed”. It is characterised by 3 dimensions: Feeling exhausted or devoid of energy, being mentally detached from your job and being less efficient in work. Employee burnout in Singapore is among the highest worldwide, where work is a vital cause of high-stress levels, and where almost one in eight employees cannot cope with their stress. There are many potential causes of chronic stress in the workplace, such as having too many responsibilities, having a negative view of yourself and the world, or a perceived lack of control over your life and work. All of these factors could cause one to burn out easily.
Let us recognise the signs that indicate a burnout. Physical signs include exhaustion, change in sleep habits or diets, frequent illness and headaches; Emotional signs include lack of motivation or enjoyment towards life events and feeling negative emotions such as anger, anxiety or depression; Behavioural signs include adverse coping mechanisms such as overconsumption of alcohol, withdrawal from responsibilities, taking out your frustration on others and reduced work performance. If you are currently experiencing these symptoms, then it is very possible that you may be burning out from work.
Now, you may ask, if busyness in work is inevitable, then how do we overcome this seemingly unmanageable stress? Below are 4 tips that could help you manage stress and prevent burnout:
Turn to other people
It is extremely beneficial to have a social circle or support network, such that there are people that you can rely on for support, encouragement and a listening ear. Friends or family members can recognise maladaptive patterns in your behaviour, identify your burnout signs, and offer you constructive feedback or advice. Through doing that, you can work towards overcoming burnouts. Likewise, if your loved one is going through a burnout, engage her in a conversation and let her open up about what she is going through, while staying patient and understanding. Confiding in and spending time with loved ones would serve to reduce stress and strengthen your relationship with them as well.
If it is possible, try befriending your colleagues. With a similar job scope, your colleagues can better understand your stress at work and everyone can draw support and motivation from one another. Additionally, good relationships with your colleagues enable you to work faster and better while reducing your work’s monotony. Thus, a more positive work environment keeps you energised and productive, countering the effects of burnout.
Live a healthy lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle habits such as sleeping, exercising and healthy eating can have a huge impact on your mood and energy, helping to reduce stress and prevent burnouts. Exhaustion or a lack of rest often worsens burnout through causing you to think irrationally, and can take a toll on your energy and emotional balance. Thus, getting a good night’s sleep energises you and improves your mental state, ultimately improving your productivity at work.
What you consume can greatly impact neural circuits in your body that control emotion, mood and motivation. As such, eat food that can elevate your energy and mood such as fruits, vegetables and food that is rich in whole grains; and reduce consumption of food with lots of caffeine, sugar, chemical preservatives and hormones.
Exercising also enables stress relief. While engaging in exercise, you can focus on your body rather than your thoughts, and how your body feels as you move (feeling the sensation of the wind against your cheek can be strangely calming!). However short or simple, any form of rhythmic exercise is beneficial as it can increase your energy while simultaneously relaxing your mind and body. Ultimately, a healthy lifestyle does wonders to your wellbeing.
Find ways to relax and unplug from work
We often burnout due to lack of time for ourselves. Thus, give yourself a chance to slow down, rest and heal. Set time aside for activities that are not work-related and do activities that make you happy and relaxed. This includes your personal hobbies, interests or a passion project such as photography, baking or exercising. Doing these activities can make you feel rejuvenated and accomplished, and helps you rediscover joy and meaning in your life outside of work.
Additionally, reserve some time to disconnect from technology. In today’s day and age, smartphones cause us to “carry an office in our pocket”, and make us psychologically connected to our work all the time. Hence, it is a good idea to limit your phone time after work, to prevent yourself from checking your emails or calling your office; such that you can spend quality time with yourself and your loved ones. Through these regular breaks, you are given an opportunity to restock your mental energy and engage in self-care, which can increase your happiness and quality of life.
Re-evaluate priorities and set boundaries
Lastly, reflect on the cause of your burn out and consider what makes you feel stressed and anxious. Ask yourself, Is my work making me stressed? Exactly what aspects of work are making me stressed? Do I spend enough time for myself? Through this self-reflection, you can find ways to reduce this burnout. A good solution is to set boundaries for yourself and re-evaluate priorities, such as knowing how much time to allocate to work and relaxation (possibly placing more importance on rest and less importance on work) and learning how to say “no” to tasks. Do not stretch yourself beyond what you can handle or commit to. If you struggle with this, remind yourself that saying “no” enables you to say “yes” to tasks that you find more fulfilling. Through re-prioritising your commitments and tasks, you are able to find balance in your life and focus on parts of life that bring you joy, meaning and satisfaction (even beyond your job).
If possible, you can also identify or consider which aspects of your job you enjoy and find the most fulfilling. After doing so, you could ask your supervisor if you can focus on these tasks as they are more aligned with your responsibilities and strengths. Doing this helps you find value and regain a sense of control in your work, giving you a positive outlook and attitude towards your tasks.
Healing from a burnout definitely is not easy, and takes lots of time and commitment to overcome, but it is possible. Take the effort and steps necessary to manage your time and reduce stress, and keep to it. It may be difficult to adjust and keep to these new changes, but ultimately, it will prove effective in preventing burnouts and will improve your physical, emotional and mental well-being.
For someone who struggles with emotional self-regulation, what does having a “breakthrough” mean? A “breakthrough” could mean coming to a point of realisation and acceptance of one’s mental state, and taking a step forward to change his/her seemingly challenging behaviour. To achieve this, we’ll need to learn the art of self-mastery in order to transform our emotions, attitude and most importantly, our behaviour.
Let’s not beat about the bush – the most pivotal factor to attaining self-mastery is for the person in question to understand that he/she needs to take charge of his/her own thoughts, emotions and actions. The model of self-mastery dictates that we should acknowledge and accept that we are the ones who are responsible for changing our own life experiences. It is often said that we are each the author of our own lives, in which we live in whatever we create. At any point in time, we should always be open to learning life skills to deal with whatever life presents us, instead of resisting or reacting against it. We should learn to control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into. Without the will to take charge and make the relevant changes, this “breakthrough” would, unfortunately, be a tough feat.
There is a difference between control and self-mastery, and it is crucial that we internalise this. Oftentimes, people with mental health conditions tend to display controlling behaviours of themselves or others.To put it succinctly, controlling behaviour arises when we compel others to change their behaviour to cater to our own experiences of life. On the contrary, self-mastery means transforming our own behaviour in order to change our own experiences of life. Practising self-mastery implies that we adapt to what life presents us, instead of quitting or getting emotionally erratic when things become challenging. This involves learning new life skills that we have yet to master in order to carry us through frustrating tough times and eliminate controlling behaviour. Controlling or manipulative behaviour often emerges from within ourselves whenever things don’t go as we expect. We victimise ourselves and push the blame towards others or life in general for what was presented so as to “correct” the situation. The truth is, when you feel that people aren’t showing you the gratitude or appreciation that you deserve, the fault is not with them. In actual fact, you are exhibiting a need to control – to bring your current life experiences to fit your idealised version of it. For individuals with disruptive emotions and impulses, self-mastery may not come easily to them, as a result of the dysfunction of their self-regulation skills. Yet, this doesn’t mean that it is entirely impossible.
Self-mastery means not allowing our past negative experiences to affect our present and future. It is not easy to undo those past experiences, as they are like deep-seated stains on our clothes that cannot be removed. However, we can choose not to wear those clothes again. It is hard to pick up anything new if our hands are full of burdens. Making peace with our past by letting go, forgiving or even forgetting, will give us space for an untarnished and more objective approach to our present and future. Practising self-mastery also includes being mindful of how you interpret an event in a way that reduces the negative thought or completely replacing it with a positive one. This psychological strategy can be understood by looking at a glass and asking yourself whether it is half full or half empty. Instead of focusing on the dark clouds, we should change our interpretative lens to uncover the silver lining. For example, instead of envying your friend’s success, you should see your own failure as a temporary detour and not a dead end.
Being mindful of our actions and reactions helps us see them for what they are so as to reign in any impulsive controlling, or difficult behaviour. Truth be told, we have all displayed difficult behaviour at times, which as a result, might have caused us to burn a bridge or two. However, the display of fluctuating emotions may be a regular occurrence for some individuals who may not know how to work towards a “breakthrough”. In this case, only if we are mindful of our behaviours can we be less reactive and better able to reframe our perception of our current experience in a less emotional and upsetting manner. With practice, we will slowly become better at creating that space which will then allow us to choose our reactions rather than just reacting out of habit or impulse. Of course, this, in turn, leads to happier and healthier relationships, ultimately improving our mental state of health as well.
Last, but not least, a crucial step in developing self-mastery is to start with self-honesty and truthfulness. Do some self-reflection. That is, have an honest assessment of your own strengths and weaknesses, as well as owning up to your problems. When you are able to identify your weaknesses, you will be able to direct yourself better to what needs to be worked on and the relevant life skills you’ll need to master in order to find a breakthrough. In contrast, focusing on your strengths will also help boost your self-confidence, and act as a motivation for you to work towards making the change you need (i.e., self-improvement). If it helps, attend a peer support group. Peer support groups are built on shared personal experiences and empathy – it focuses on one’s strengths and helps you work towards your mental health and happiness goals. At the same time, it comforts you that you aren’t on the road to mental resilience and self-mastery alone and that there are many out there like you. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help too, for it could very well be the push you need to help you achieve the breakthrough you desire.
If you have compelling, irresistible cravings to drink, smoke, use drugs and gamble, which leads to behaviors that is destructive to yourself and others, you can seek help from a professional counselor for addiction treatment.
They can offer you tools and techniques to deal with urges and cravings. One powerful practice that has been shown by several studies to reduce urges and cravings is mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to control your cravings by noticing in the moment what is arising in your thoughts, emotions and body. By being in the moment with your cravings and not being subsumed by them or reacting to them, the craving will fade away. Do you have difficulties in controlling your urges and cravings? Do you feel that you have no control over your life and that the cravings are controlling you?
At Promises, we have skilled, compassionate counsellors that can help you overcome your cravings through the practice of mindfulness and various techniques. At Promises Healthcare, we are committed to helping you through your journey to recovery.
Discover a new life, away from addiction and find renewed hope. Please contact our clinic for inquiries and consultations.