counsellor Archives - Promises Healthcare
ENQUIRY
How Do You Find The Right Therapist For You

How Do You Find The Right Therapist For You

For many individuals, therapy is a rather intense and personal topic, and it could have taken them a lot of courage to finally seek the help that they need. Keeping this in mind, it is exceptionally crucial that one finds the right therapist, for there’s a pre-existing implicit clinical belief that the level of treatment effectiveness is greatly dependent on the therapist-client fit. Of course, every client would love to be able to – ideally – find that one therapist whom they can fully open up to from the very beginning, but in reality, that may not be the case. At times, it is necessary to assess your relationship with your therapist and evaluate if there’s the good rapport you need for your sessions to be a success. Ultimately, it boils down to whether you feel a steady, reliable and safe connection with the therapist, and whether you are making the progress you hope for. 

To give you some background, studies over the years have shown that the more similar the therapist and the client, the higher the rate of recovery. As an example, an assessment instrument entitled the “Structural Profile Inventory(SPI)”, which measures seven “independent yet interactive” variables (behaviours, affects, sensory imagery, cognition, interpersonal, drugs/biological factors or BASIC-ID), showed that client-therapist similarity on the SPI predicted a better psychotherapy outcome for the client as measured by differences pre- and post-treatment on the Brief Symptom Inventory. Moreover, the demographic similarity between therapist and client facilitates positive perceptions of the relationship in the beginning stages of treatment, enhances commitment to remaining in treatment, and at times can accelerate the amount of improvement experienced by clients. More precisely, it can be said that age, ethnicity, and gender similarity have been associated with positive client perceptions of the treatment relationship. With gender and cultural similarities appearing the most strongly preferred among clients, these domains generally enhance clients’ perceptions of their therapists’ level of understanding and empathy, and as a result, sessions are judged to be more advantageous and worthwhile. However, besides these, there are also other means to assess your “fit” with your therapist, and we’re here to discuss just that.

First and foremost, consider if you are seeking help in the right place. Does the therapist you are looking at specialise in the area you are seeking help for? Before we can even touch on the topic of interpersonal therapist-client fit, it is important for you to take the time to do some research on various therapists’ profiles – in other words, to sift through and read up on their respective areas of expertise. Typically, therapists would have their area(s) of specialisation up on their online profile directories. It would be clearly indicated if they specialise in areas such as substance abuse, family therapy, or even anger management. It goes without saying that, for example, it would be inappropriate to consult a psychologist who specialises in child psychology when you’re clearly looking for someone who can help you with your substance-use addiction. With that said, it is to no one’s benefit for you to rush into therapy blindly. 

Once you have chosen the potential therapist that you are most likely to want to have see you through your road to recovery, another essential question you should ask yourself is whether you are comfortable with their suggested mode of therapy. During consultations, you will have the opportunity to enquire about their recommended techniques or treatment methods that will be explored during your subsequent sessions. If you are uncomfortable with any particular process, giving honest feedback and exploring other methods is always an option. However, at any point, you also have the right to seek other therapists who may be able to help you in other ways that don’t put you in a tight spot. After all, therapy is all about having a safe and comfortable space for you to sort out your difficulties. 

When assessing your interpersonal connection with your therapist, make sure to trust your gut. This way, you’ll also be able to track your progress better and to seek alternative help if required. Some questions you can ask yourself are:

  1. Am I satisfied with the current balance of talking and listening with my therapist?
  2. Is my overall therapy experience safe, warm, and validating? 
  3. Am I fully assured that I’m in a non-judgemental space where I can be fully honest?
  4. How much has the therapist helped me to gain greater insight into my own behaviour and thoughts so far? 
  5. Am I becoming more capable of coping (independently) with stressful or triggering situations over time?
  6. Am I noticing more positive changes in myself, as compared to when I first started therapy?

As mentioned, a major deciding factor should also be on whether you find yourself noticing positive changes in your thought cycles and behaviour after a couple of sessions. At the end of the day, therapy should be about working towards achieving your desired outcome, and should definitely not be limited to weekly venting sessions. Although venting and letting out hard feelings can provide temporary relief, it fosters a client’s dependence on the therapist over time and further reinforces the client’s problems. Therapy should instead help you to feel more confident that you’ve developed the relevant skill sets in order to cope with whatever emotional challenges that brought you to seek therapy in the first place.

Naturally, there’s no guarantee that we will find chemistry with the first therapist we meet. The chemistry between people varies, and sometimes it’s just not possible for us to force it. Thus, it is important to remember that a lack of fit between therapist and client is no one’s fault. However, remember that the ball is in our court, and it is within our control to start looking in the right place for the sake of our own well-being.


 1 Herman, S.M. (1998). The relationship between therapist-client modality similarity and psychotherapy outcome. Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research, 1998 Winter; 7(1): 56-64.

2 Luborksky, L., Crits-Christoph, P., Alexander, L., Margolis, M., & Cohen, M. (1983). Two Helping alliance methods for predicting outcomes of psychotherapy: A counting signs vs. a global rating method. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 171, 480-491.

3 Jones, E. E., (1978). Effects of race on psychotherapy process and outcome: An exploratory investigation. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 15, 226-236.

4 Blase, J. J. (1979). A study of the effects of sec of the client and sex of the therapist on clients’ satisfaction with psychotherapy. Dissertation Abstracts International, 39, 6107B-6108B.

Beutler, L.E., Clarkin, J., Crago, M. and Bergan, J., 1991. Client-therapist matching. Pergamon general psychology series, 162, pp.699-716. (Accessed 30/08/2020)

https://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2019/12/03/assessing-therapist-client-fit/ (Accessed 30/08/2020)

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/02/14/think-like-a-pope-knowing-when-to-quit/when-to-quit-therapy (Accessed 30/08/2020)

Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash

Emotional Self-Regulation: The difference between having a controlling behaviour and having self-mastery

Emotional Self-Regulation: The difference between having a controlling behaviour and having self-mastery

For someone who struggles with emotional self-regulation, what does having a “breakthrough” mean? A “breakthrough” could mean coming to a point of realisation and acceptance of one’s mental state, and taking a step forward to change his/her seemingly challenging behaviour. To achieve this, we’ll need to learn the art of self-mastery in order to transform our emotions, attitude and most importantly, our behaviour. 

Let’s not beat about the bush – the most pivotal factor to attaining self-mastery is for the person in question to understand that he/she needs to take charge of his/her own thoughts, emotions and actions. The model of self-mastery dictates that we should acknowledge and accept that we are the ones who are responsible for changing our own life experiences. It is often said that we are each the author of our own lives, in which we live in whatever we create. At any point in time, we should always be open to learning life skills to deal with whatever life presents us, instead of resisting or reacting against it. We should learn to control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into. Without the will to take charge and make the relevant changes, this “breakthrough” would, unfortunately, be a tough feat.

There is a difference between control and self-mastery, and it is crucial that we internalise this. Oftentimes, people with mental health conditions tend to display controlling behaviours of themselves or others. To put it succinctly, controlling behaviour arises when we compel others to change their behaviour to cater to our own experiences of life. On the contrary, self-mastery means transforming our own behaviour in order to change our own experiences of life. Practising self-mastery implies that we adapt to what life presents us, instead of quitting or getting emotionally erratic when things become challenging. This involves learning new life skills that we have yet to master in order to carry us through frustrating tough times and eliminate controlling behaviour. Controlling or manipulative behaviour often emerges from within ourselves whenever things don’t go as we expect. We victimise ourselves and push the blame towards others or life in general for what was presented so as to “correct” the situation.  The truth is, when you feel that people aren’t showing you the gratitude or appreciation that you deserve, the fault is not with them. In actual fact, you are exhibiting a need to control – to bring your current life experiences to fit your idealised version of it. For individuals with disruptive emotions and impulses, self-mastery may not come easily to them, as a result of the dysfunction of their self-regulation skills. Yet, this doesn’t mean that it is entirely impossible. 

Self-mastery means not allowing our past negative experiences to affect our present and future. It is not easy to undo those past experiences, as they are like deep-seated stains on our clothes that cannot be removed. However, we can choose not to wear those clothes again. It is hard to pick up anything new if our hands are full of burdens. Making peace with our past by letting go, forgiving or even forgetting, will give us space for an untarnished and more objective approach to our present and future. Practising self-mastery also includes being mindful of how you interpret an event in a way that reduces the negative thought or completely replacing it with a positive one. This psychological strategy can be understood by looking at a glass and asking yourself whether it is half full or half empty. Instead of focusing on the dark clouds, we should change our interpretative lens to uncover the silver lining. For example, instead of envying your friend’s success, you should see your own failure as a temporary detour and not a dead end. 

Being mindful of our actions and reactions helps us see them for what they are so as to reign in any impulsive controlling, or difficult behaviour. Truth be told, we have all displayed difficult behaviour at times, which as a result, might have caused us to burn a bridge or two. However, the display of fluctuating emotions may be a regular occurrence for some individuals who may not know how to work towards a “breakthrough”. In this case, only if we are mindful of our behaviours can we be less reactive and better able to reframe our perception of our current experience in a less emotional and upsetting manner. With practice, we will slowly become better at creating that space which will then allow us to choose our reactions rather than just reacting out of habit or impulse. Of course, this, in turn, leads to happier and healthier relationships, ultimately improving our mental state of health as well. 

Last, but not least, a crucial step in developing self-mastery is to start with self-honesty and truthfulness. Do some self-reflection. That is, have an honest assessment of your own strengths and weaknesses, as well as owning up to your problems. When you are able to identify your weaknesses, you will be able to direct yourself better to what needs to be worked on and the relevant life skills you’ll need to master in order to find a breakthrough. In contrast, focusing on your strengths will also help boost your self-confidence, and act as a motivation for you to work towards making the change you need (i.e., self-improvement). If it helps, attend a peer support group. Peer support groups are built on shared personal experiences and empathy – it focuses on one’s strengths and helps you work towards your mental health and happiness goals. At the same time, it comforts you that you aren’t on the road to mental resilience and self-mastery alone and that there are many out there like you. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help too, for it could very well be the push you need to help you achieve the breakthrough you desire.

 


Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Tanya Curtis, Control vs Self-Mastery: A Key to Lasting Change for a Person with a Mental Illness, video recording, Mental Health Academy
<https://www.mentalhealthacademy.co.uk/dashboard/catalogue/control-vs-self-mastery-a-key-to-lasting-change-for-a-person-with-a-mental-illness/video> (Accessed 16/06/2020)

 

Counsellor, Psychotherapist, Psychologist, Psychiatrist. Which is right for you?

Counsellor, Psychotherapist, Psychologist, Psychiatrist. Which is right for you?

If you’ve been pottering around the Promises Healthcare’s ‘Our Team’ page, and are new to the world of mental health in that you’re considering making the leap to seeking help from a mental health professional, it’s our hope that this casual guide to demystifying the titles, designations and dizzying abbreviations that adorn each profile will point you in the right direction.

 

For starters, there’s one thing that each of our mental health professionals have in common. They all possess at minimum a Master’s level certification in their discipline, so you can be assured of all their competencies.

 

Psychiatrists

As we’ve shared in a previous article, a psychiatrist is at their core a medical doctor, which certifies them to prescribe neuropharmacological support – i.e., medication.

But of course, psychiatrists more often than not do indeed possess relevant counselling and psychotherapy certifications, because being well-versed in the craft of patient care in the mental health sector does help them delve deeper into the minds and psyches of their clients, and assist them in skilfully and empathetically overcoming boundaries that some clients may consciously or unconsciously put up that stymie the therapeutic process. 

Prescribing the most effective neuropharmacological support is buttressed by the psychiatrist’s skill in interpersonal communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Psychiatrists often describe themselves as observers, but it goes without saying that navigating these one-on-one interactions requires input from their side of the desk. While you might think that psychiatrists have reached the peak of the career trajectory of a mental health professional, keep in mind that by no means should you think of a psychiatrist as the fount of all mental health knowledge. Think of the ‘helping’ professions encompassed in the form of a large tree, rooted in a common desire to help people in need and supported by a trunk of science and evidence based knowledge , from which grows different branches representing the many ways in which mental health professionals can help someone in need – certain disciplines are applied more rigorously in helping certain conditions or situations. This is why Promises is described on our page as a multidisciplinary team of mental health professionals. Your treatment plan is provided by our team, and under the shade of our tree, you will be prompted to reach for certain branches – but at the end of the day, it is your choice to pick the leaves which seem most lush to you.

Psychologists 

Psychologists differ from psychiatrists in one key authority. They are not medical doctors, and therefore cannot prescribe you medication. You’ll notice that our stable comprises a good number of clinical psychologists – so, what exactly are they, and how can they help you? Clinical psychologists possess doctorate degrees in psychology, and are imbued with the ability to cater to clients who suffer from any number of the discombobulating disarray of mental health conditions which sadly, are still negatively stigmatised in society. Think schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and their ilk. A clinical psychologist can make a diagnosis for you, if you think you are suffering from a mental health condition. Using the tools in their arsenals which they are trained in, such as psychometric testing, intelligence testing, personality testing, and much more, their diagnoses are firmly rooted in evidence based science. You could then make the logical conclusion that if they deem your condition treatable with medication, they would refer you to a psychiatrist. There’s a lot of symbiosis going on in our clinic!

 

The difference between Counsellors & Psychotherapists 

We’ll deal with counsellors and psychotherapists next, because the two fields are very much intertwined, aligned in some facets, while possessing in granular detail key differences. Counselling and psychotherapy are both broadly concerned with betterment of clients in need, and there is significant overlap in the goals of either mode of therapy. Now, on to the differences, which will help you better distinguish which leaf you’d like to choose. First, there is a temporal difference between the two in both the length of treatment and how far back into your life each mode of therapy delves into in order to solve your current issue.

Counselling, on one hand, tends to favour clients who are more self aware and sensitive to their emotions and thought processes, and need a helping hand in unpacking a recent difficulty or life altering experience that they wish to resolve. This is rather unlike psychotherapy, rooted in a humanistic tradition – some may refer to it as height psychology, a term which gained currency during the time of Abraham Maslow and his espousement of self-actualisation. Psychotherapy, in this sense, takes a long, lingering look at a person’s past, life changing experiences, deep seated traumas and neuroses, or any relevant factors – all to help a client gain mastery of self (self awareness) and challenge them to enact the necessary life changes that lead to self improvement. You might well think of counsellors more as “advisors”, and psychotherapists as the “life guides”. Of course, detract nothing from both disciplines – their practitioners chose their specialities precisely because they fit into their world-views and probably, because they thought that they were good at it!

 

How do you choose?

Of course, given the array of therapeutic modalities and mental health professionals, we understand that choosing the right leaves can be a bewildering experience. That’s why we feel it’s best that you browse the profiles of our therapists, read their biographies and see which of them you feel most comfortable seeing. In the near future, Promises Healthcare intends to refine and streamline your selection process by having a list of issues or conditions that you are having problem(s) with – your input will then guide you to the mental health professional in our team that is best equipped to deal with your issues. For now, take  a deep breath, sit back, read, absorb, think with clarity about what you want to deal with, and pick one to make an appointment with. Choosing the right therapist isn’t a one hit wonder – it takes time and patience, but rest assured that we’ll do our best to help you in that regard. 

 


Featured Photo by Evan Dennis on Unsplash