Sexual AddictionSex Addiction Diagnosis, Assessments & Treatment
What is Sexual Addiction?
Sexual addiction is characterised by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. It is a condition in which an individual cannot manage their sexual behaviour, despite the negative consequences to themselves or others. Like all addictions, it bears an increasingly negative impact on the addict and their family members as the disorder progresses.
Sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders. For some sex addicts, their behaviour does not progress beyond compulsive masturbation, multiple affairs, extensive use of certain pornography and sex workers, or phone/computer sex services.
For others, however, addiction can involve illegal activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, frotteurism, obscene sex-ting, child molestation and obscene internet communications or rape.
Some unusual sexual behaviour such as paraphillias involving consenting adults, may not be sexual addiction.
How do you know if you or your loved one is a sex addict?
If you notice a combination of one or more of the following over a period of 6 months, you should contact a professional:
Constant Use of Sexual Humor and Grooming
Sex addicts can turn almost anything into a sexual joke or reference. They may consistently charm, groom or stare at men/women at work, socially or publicly, even though they are in a primary relationship.
Sex addicts may be repeat adulterers. They may even be carrying on multiple sexual relationships at a time outside their primary relationship.
Withdrawal and Mood Swings
Sex addicts lose the ability to engage mentally with things that have nothing to do with sex. They become physically withdrawn and absent as more time is devoted to receiving sexual gratification.
Preoccupation with sex, ruminating on sex and sexual fantasies may dominate their thinking. They may project on to others, sexual permissiveness and openness that others do not possess.
Escalating Sexual Demands
Sex addicts will often place increasingly high sexual demands on their partners. This may involve escalating sexual behaviours that their partners are gradually less willing to participate in. Alternatively they may become sexually anorexic with their partners.
Sex addicts often find themselves leading double lives, and have to lie frequently in order to keep their behaviour hidden. Some lies that become apparent may not seem to have anything to do with sex but may involve concealing finances, medical tests, work events and business travel.
Inappropriate Public Behaviour
Activities related to sexual addiction usually occur in private. However, as the addiction progresses, many sex addicts find themselves unable to resist viewing cyberporn or engaging in cybersex in public places or in the workplace.
An Unmanageable Life
Sex addicts may have compromised their health and the health of their loved ones; whittled away family finances; lost family, social and work opportunities; faced criminal prosecution and other legal consequences; given up hobbies and family life; and created trauma, grief, and despair in their loved ones. No longer trusted or respected, sex addicts may suffer depression, anxiety and suicide ideation.
There are a number of assessments available online. However, some are not clinically validated, reliable, thorough or confidential enough, or they may cause unnecessary alarm.
The International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) provide Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) with an anonymised, online questionnaire, called the “Sexual Dependency Inventory – 4.0”. It takes a client one to two hours to complete. At the end, a confidential, detailed client report is automatically generated for the therapist to interpret and share with the client. The results of the test will indicate a path towards a workable therapeutic solution.
Promises currently provides this test, administered by certified sex addiction therapist Andrew da Roza.
Leaving Sexual Addiction Untreated: Risk Factors
Untreated, compulsive sexual behaviour can leave the individual with intense feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. Some patients may develop severe anxiety and depression.
Other complications may include:
- family relationship problems and breakups
- financial problems and loss of employment and work permits
- sexually transmitted diseases and infections such as HIV
- legal consequences, if the sexual act is illegal or involves law suits, divorce and custody procedures
Treatment options available at Promises:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) provides a variety of techniques that help the individual change their thoughts and behaviour. Therapy can help a person to avoid relapses.
There are several components:
- Rehabilition via our multiple partners in the region to smooth admissions with continuity of care.
- Psychiatric care to treat both medical and mental health issues which can co-occur e.g. prescription of required medication.
- Individual one-to-one sessions with our highly experienced therapists for addiction recovery and co-occuring mental issues.
- Couples and / or family sessions to build support for the addict and to address any trauma or grief caused by the addict’s behaviour
Medication can be used to treat co-occurring mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression. Senior Consultant Psychiatrist Dr Munidasa Winslow can clinically assess you and provide pharmacological intervention if required.
Continuing Care represents the maintenance of wellness, which is key to achieving one’s recovery goals. This may take the form of 12 step recovery group meetings or other group therapies, individual one-on-one counselling, couples and family therapy, and mindfulness techniques.
Support groups such as our partners, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, offer 12-step programs aimed at helping the individual self-manage the condition. Additionally, Andrew da Roza, our experienced addictions psychotherapist, runs the Sex Treatment and Recovery (“STAR”) Group Session Program which offers a safe, non-judgmental and connected space for peer support and learning. STAR, as well as the other support groups now also meet online via zoom. Contact the front desk for more details at +65 6397 7309.
In order to create lasting change and recovery, a combination of the above treatment options is recommended.
Unlike drug or alcohol treatment, the goal of sexual addiction treatment is not lifelong abstinence, but rather a termination of compulsive, unhealthy sexual behaviour.
Since it is very difficult for a sex addict to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy sex, programs usually encourage abstinence from any sexual behaviour during the first phase of treatment. Many programs suggest a 60- to 90-day period of self-imposed abstinence.
This enables you, along with the treatment team, to understand the emotional cues and circumstances that trigger sexual thought and compulsive sexual behaviour.
Further Reading: Blog Articles on Sex Addiction
Online Sex Addictions Recovery Support can help those hiding in shame and find staying in recovery difficult, right from the comfort of their own home.
The Paradox of Getting Started Attending group therapy for compulsive sexual behaviours (sex addiction) is commonly very difficult. The fear and shame associated with the compulsion, and the desire to hide and minimise the behaviour subsumes a person’s thoughts. This...
My partner says his sexual behavior is normal – but he is hiding it and I know something is wrong. Am I crazy? What are the signs of compulsive sexual behavior disorder? Partners of people with sexual compulsivity often come to the clinic in great distress. They have...
Our Sex & Love Addiction Team includes:
Andrew da Roza
Addictions Therapist, Sex Addiction Specialist
M.Couns (Monash), MSc (Addictions), MBA, LLM, LLB, Certified Substance Abuse Therapist, Substance Abuse Counsellor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
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