Depression has been portrayed extensively in pop culture and media, from R.E.M.’s hit song “Everybody Hurts”, to the television series “13 Reasons Why”. The phrase “I’m so depressed” is thrown around casually when someone has had a bad day or when they can’t get their favourite brand of ice-cream. But what is depression, really? How does it affect us, and can it be treated?
If someone was recently fired or lost a loved one, it would be natural to feel grief at such events. However, grief is not depression. Depression is classified as a mood disorder that causes unusually low moods for an extended period of time and may impair one’s ability to function at work and at home. Grief or other stressful situations may sometimes trigger depression, but unlike grief, there is often no discernible cause for the hopelessness and despair a depressed individual feels. Depression affects everyone differently, and factors such as one’s family background, environment, or physical state can impact their chances of developing depression, and how severely it impacts them.
Depression has a variety of symptoms that can vary in intensity, including;
Loss of interest in typically pleasurable activities;
There are several different types of depression, with the most common being Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). According to a study conducted by the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), 1 in 16 people in Singapore have experienced MDD in their lifetime. Major depressive episodes last about eight months and have a 70% chance of recurring within five years, though this varies with each individual.
There is also Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), also known as dysthymia. This type of depression can last for several years, with symptoms receding for no more than two months at a time. PDD is much harder to spot, as the symptoms are often not as severe as MDD. Due to the length in which PDD affects individuals, friends and family may eventually brush it off as part of their personality. Others may think that they are just naturally “gloomy”, or “introverted” and “withdrawn”. Some individuals may also experience major depressive episodes while in the midst of PDD. This is known as double depression.
If any of the above sounds like they might apply to you or someone you know, you may be wondering “what can I do?”. The first step would be to speak to a mental health professional, who can properly assess the situation and make a diagnosis if necessary. They can then recommend a form of treatment. However, there is no “one size fits all” treatment. It may take many tries to find one that works for you. To help find that, here are some proven methods of treatment.
Antidepressants prescribed by psychiatrists help to stabilise one’s mood by adjusting specific parts of their brain chemistry. SSRIs are the most commonly prescribed class of antidepressants and help to boost the effects of serotonin in the brain. Antidepressants take time to produce full effects so don’t be discouraged if you don’t experience any effects immediately. However, if the antidepressants do not work after an extended period of time, or produce unpleasant side effects, speak to your psychiatrist about changing medications. When taking antidepressants, be sure to adhere to the prescribed dosage in order to see the best results. There is a common misconception that if someone feels better after taking antidepressants for a while, they can stop taking it immediately. This is not the case, and can instead cause their mood to suddenly crash back down again. If you are feeling better after taking antidepressants, speak to your psychiatrists, and together you can work out a plan to reduce the dosage of antidepressants.
Unfortunately, even with the wide variety of treatments available, the majority of people suffering from depression do not actually seek professional help. In many cases, this is due to the stigma associated with mental illness and the fear of what others may say. People with depression are often told “just stop being sad”, or “you should be happy, you have so many things to be thankful for”. So they hide it. They struggle each and every day and they hope that they’ll just get better on their own. But that makes the process so much harder. Support from friends and family is crucial in the recovery process.
Depression is a disease that can happen to anyone. It could happen to the quiet kid that sits in the corner. Or to your best friend who’s always been bubbly and lively, and now seems like someone else that you can barely recognise. But just like other diseases, it is possible to recover from depression with the right support from friends, family, and therapists. So be kind to one another, love one another, and when things get tough, be there for one another.
For someone who struggles with emotional self-regulation, what does having a “breakthrough” mean? A “breakthrough” could mean coming to a point of realisation and acceptance of one’s mental state, and taking a step forward to change his/her seemingly challenging behaviour. To achieve this, we’ll need to learn the art of self-mastery in order to transform our emotions, attitude and most importantly, our behaviour.
Let’s not beat about the bush – the most pivotal factor to attaining self-mastery is for the person in question to understand that he/she needs to take charge of his/her own thoughts, emotions and actions. The model of self-mastery dictates that we should acknowledge and accept that we are the ones who are responsible for changing our own life experiences. It is often said that we are each the author of our own lives, in which we live in whatever we create. At any point in time, we should always be open to learning life skills to deal with whatever life presents us, instead of resisting or reacting against it. We should learn to control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into. Without the will to take charge and make the relevant changes, this “breakthrough” would, unfortunately, be a tough feat.
There is a difference between control and self-mastery, and it is crucial that we internalise this. Oftentimes, people with mental health conditions tend to display controlling behaviours of themselves or others.To put it succinctly, controlling behaviour arises when we compel others to change their behaviour to cater to our own experiences of life. On the contrary, self-mastery means transforming our own behaviour in order to change our own experiences of life. Practising self-mastery implies that we adapt to what life presents us, instead of quitting or getting emotionally erratic when things become challenging. This involves learning new life skills that we have yet to master in order to carry us through frustrating tough times and eliminate controlling behaviour. Controlling or manipulative behaviour often emerges from within ourselves whenever things don’t go as we expect. We victimise ourselves and push the blame towards others or life in general for what was presented so as to “correct” the situation. The truth is, when you feel that people aren’t showing you the gratitude or appreciation that you deserve, the fault is not with them. In actual fact, you are exhibiting a need to control – to bring your current life experiences to fit your idealised version of it. For individuals with disruptive emotions and impulses, self-mastery may not come easily to them, as a result of the dysfunction of their self-regulation skills. Yet, this doesn’t mean that it is entirely impossible.
Self-mastery means not allowing our past negative experiences to affect our present and future. It is not easy to undo those past experiences, as they are like deep-seated stains on our clothes that cannot be removed. However, we can choose not to wear those clothes again. It is hard to pick up anything new if our hands are full of burdens. Making peace with our past by letting go, forgiving or even forgetting, will give us space for an untarnished and more objective approach to our present and future. Practising self-mastery also includes being mindful of how you interpret an event in a way that reduces the negative thought or completely replacing it with a positive one. This psychological strategy can be understood by looking at a glass and asking yourself whether it is half full or half empty. Instead of focusing on the dark clouds, we should change our interpretative lens to uncover the silver lining. For example, instead of envying your friend’s success, you should see your own failure as a temporary detour and not a dead end.
Being mindful of our actions and reactions helps us see them for what they are so as to reign in any impulsive controlling, or difficult behaviour. Truth be told, we have all displayed difficult behaviour at times, which as a result, might have caused us to burn a bridge or two. However, the display of fluctuating emotions may be a regular occurrence for some individuals who may not know how to work towards a “breakthrough”. In this case, only if we are mindful of our behaviours can we be less reactive and better able to reframe our perception of our current experience in a less emotional and upsetting manner. With practice, we will slowly become better at creating that space which will then allow us to choose our reactions rather than just reacting out of habit or impulse. Of course, this, in turn, leads to happier and healthier relationships, ultimately improving our mental state of health as well.
Last, but not least, a crucial step in developing self-mastery is to start with self-honesty and truthfulness. Do some self-reflection. That is, have an honest assessment of your own strengths and weaknesses, as well as owning up to your problems. When you are able to identify your weaknesses, you will be able to direct yourself better to what needs to be worked on and the relevant life skills you’ll need to master in order to find a breakthrough. In contrast, focusing on your strengths will also help boost your self-confidence, and act as a motivation for you to work towards making the change you need (i.e., self-improvement). If it helps, attend a peer support group. Peer support groups are built on shared personal experiences and empathy – it focuses on one’s strengths and helps you work towards your mental health and happiness goals. At the same time, it comforts you that you aren’t on the road to mental resilience and self-mastery alone and that there are many out there like you. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help too, for it could very well be the push you need to help you achieve the breakthrough you desire.
The basic characteristics of all religions are similar. There is a firm belief in a higher unseen power who is the supreme master.
Religion and Spirituality, Is There A Difference?
Religion Is an organized system of beliefs, practices, rituals, and symbols designed to facilitate closeness to the sacred or transcendent (God, higher power, or ultimate truth/reality).
Spirituality is the personal quest for understanding answers to the ultimate questions about life, about meaning, and about the relationship with the sacred or transcendent, which may (or may not) lead to or arise from the development of religious rituals and the formation of a community. Spirituality is thus a more inclusive concept than religion.
Mental Illness In The Middle Ages
The idea that religion and psychiatry have always been in conflict is still very prevalent. Today, most people believe that in the medieval ages, most mental disorders were considered as witchcraft or demonic possession. People with mental disorders were recognized as different and treated in various ways. Early medicine men, considering such individuals to be possessed by demons, introduced a technique called trephination, which Involved drilling a hole in the head of the individual to let evil spirits out of the body. Many other civilizations independently developed such a procedure. For example, among the remains of the Incas in Peru are skulls with holes and trephination devices. The treatment of mental illness deteriorated in the late Middle Ages and remained poor through the eighteenth century. As the medieval years progressed, insanity became linked to witchcraft and demon possession. Those considered to be possessed with demons were exorcised. This ritual, performed by a priest, would call upon the demon to come out of the individual and to transfer itself into an animal or inanimate object. Both the Greeks and Romans thought that the mentally ill were capable of causing major social problems, as well as harm to themselves. They made provisions for guardians to take care of the insane. Realizing that these people could hurt themselves or others and could destroy life and property, laws were passed that set specific guidelines. Since there were no lunatic asylums, people with mental illness were a family responsibility. The seriously impaired were restrained at home, but others were permitted to wander in the hope that evil spirits might fly out of them.
Certain saints were thought to be more active in the domain of madness. In northern France, the shrines of Saint Mathurin at Larchant and Saint Acairus at Haspres were known for healing. In Flanders, now Belgium, citizens of Geel developed a shrine to Saint Dymphna that became a hospice to house the mentally ill. During the early years of the Middle Ages, the community took care of the mentally ill. Later, hospices, then asylums were developed to house them. London’s Bethlem asylum—better known as Bedlam—was founded in 1247, making it one of the oldest institutions of its kind. The term “bedlam” became associated with chaos, confusion, and poor treatment, which reflected the general attitude toward mental illness at the time. It was only in the nineteenth century that scientists and society began to reconsider deviant behaviour from the perspective of mental illness rather than as a manifestation of evil spirits.
Religion And Psychiatry
Persons with mental disorders can sometimes present with symptoms such as hyper-religiosity (manic episodes as part of bipolar disorder) or delusional beliefs such as possessing godly or religious powers. Rates of religious delusions in schizophrenia remain high. These symptoms and signs need to be carefully assessed by mental health professionals. Certain groups in Christianity such as Pentecostal Christians “speak in tongues”, which is not a symptom of mental illness, but an expression of their religious beliefs. “Speaking in tongues” is mentioned in the Bible.
In the last two decades, rigorous scientific research has been done and published in mainstream medical and psychological journals. David B. Larson, Jeffrey S. Levin and Harold G. Koenig were some of the authors. They have conducted a series of studies looking at the relationship between religious involvement and mental health in mature adults, either living in the community or hospitalized with medical illness. Since then, many other researchers have produced a large body of research that has usually, but not always, shown a positive association between religious involvement and mental health.
According to the Harvard psychologist, Gordon Allport, a person’s religious orientation may be intrinsic and/or extrinsic.
Extrinsic Orientation Persons with this orientation are disposed to use religion for their own ends. Many find religion useful in a variety of ways – to provide security and solace, sociability and distraction, status and self-justification.
Intrinsic Orientation Persons with this orientation find their master motive in religion.
Other needs, strong as they may be, are regarded as of less ultimate significance, and they are, so far as possible, brought in harmony with the religious beliefs. Having embraced a creed, the individual endeavours to internalize it and follow it fully. Usually, the intrinsic orientation is associated with healthier personality and mental status, while the extrinsic orientation is associated with the opposite. Extrinsic religiosity is associated with dogmatism, prejudice, fear of death, and anxiety, it “does a good job of measuring the sort of religion that gives religion a bad name.
Physical health: Religiousness was related to decreased smoking and alcohol consumption. Religious commitment and participation seemed to affect longevity, as well, especially in men.
Suicide rates were consistently found to have a negative correlation with religiosity. In Hinduism, if you take your life prematurely, you have to suffer in the next birth. Most research findings support that religious affiliation, especially participation, lowers the rate of alcohol consumption. Being religious results in more hope and optimism and life satisfaction.
Belief Systems, Cognitive Framework
Beliefs and cognitive processes influence how people deal with stress, suffering and life issues.
Religious beliefs can provide support through the following ways: Enhancing acceptance, endurance, and resilience. They generate peace, self-confidence, purpose, forgiveness to the individual’s own failures, and positive self-image. On the other hand, they can sometimes bring guilt, doubts, anxiety and depression through an enhanced self-criticism. ‘Locus of control’ is an expression that arises from the social learning theory and tries to understand why people react in different ways even when facing the same problem. An internal ‘locus of control’ is usually associated with well-being and an external one with depression and anxiety. A religious belief can favour an internal ‘locus of control’ with an impact on mental health.
Public and private religious practices can help to maintain mental health and prevent mental diseases. They help to cope with anxiety, fears, frustration, anger, anomie, inferiority feelings, despondency and isolation. The most commonly studied religious practice is meditation.
It has been reported that it can produce changes in personality, reduce tension and anxiety, diminish self-blame, stabilize emotional ups and downs, and improve self-knowledge. Improvement in panic attacks, generalized anxiety disorder, depression, insomnia, drug use, stress, chronic pain and other health problems have been reported. Follow-up studies have documented the effectiveness of these techniques.
Role of the Psychiatrist
During assessment, the psychiatrist should be able to determine whether the religion in the life of his patient is important, has a special meaning and is active or inactive. Four basic areas should be remembered when taking a spiritual history.
Does the patient use religion or spirituality to help cope with illness or is it a source of stress, and how?
Is the patient a member of a supportive spiritual community?
Does the patient have any troubling spiritual question or concerns?
Does the patient have any spiritual beliefs that might influence medical care?
The clinician who truly wishes to consider the bio-psycho-social aspects of a patient needs to assess, understand, and respect his/her religious beliefs, like any other psychosocial dimension.
Play is a critical part of a child’s development from birth. It boosts healthy brain development that is conducive for physical, cognitive, and emotional growth. It encourages imagination and creativity, and improves social skills and confidence. It is therefore not surprising that psychologists realised its power and tapped into it as an instrument of healing.
Challenges are a part of life. But in childhood, they can be harsher as children haven’t developed the capability to understand or deal with what they are going through. In their tender minds, loss or pain could be something as small (to an adult) as a broken favourite toy and range up to a major loss in the forms of death, separation from a loved one, hospitalization, abuse or other personal/family crises. While some children might manage to some extent by voicing their displeasure or through negative behaviours, others might just suppress their emotions. If the setbacks are beyond the coping skills of the child, the trauma can manifest as psychological or emotional disorders.
Parents often ask how they can know if their child needs counselling. Some signs could be that the child is being more angry, nervous, defiant, sad, or withdrawn than usual, or than is reasonable. The child could also be showing changes in eating and sleeping patterns, a decrease in school grades or reduced interest in previously favoured activities. When in doubt, it is better to err on the side of caution and seek help.
Play therapy is one of the prominent forms of therapy for children and is practised by a variety of mental health professionals, like counsellors, psychotherapists, clinical psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers. It is an intervention which allows children who are experiencing emotional or behavioural issues to open up their emotions in the safe space of the ‘playroom’. They are given toys to play with, and the children play as they wish, without feeling interrogated or threatened. For the children themselves, play (therapy) is familiar and fun and they are thus able to work out their undesirable experiences and resolve their emotional and behavioural difficulties. What materials the child chooses to play with and how they play all have meaning. The therapist watches their play to get an insight into their emotional or mental health problems.
Depending on the issues faced by the child and their own training, therapists conduct non-directed or directed play therapy and provide play materials accordingly. Non directed play therapy is free-play and very similar to the free association of adult psychodynamic therapy. While in the latter adult clients are allowed to talk and ventilate to gain insight and resolve their problems, free play with limited conditions and guidelines, allows the child to express their feelings just through their play. Their verbal expression might or might not be as important.
Directed play therapy includes more structure and guidance by the therapist and several techniques are used to purposefully engage the child. These could be engaging in play with the child themselves or suggesting new topics, themes for play. Parents might or might not be included in the sessions. Materials may include art and craft materials, sand and water, clay, dolls, toys, blocks, a family of dolls, miniature figures, animals, musical instruments, puppets and books. While traditionally Play therapy is considered to be beneficial for children ages 3 to 12, it has been modified and customised by researchers and therapists to help adolescents and adults also, and some mental health practitioners have started including video games as therapeutic tools. Apart from being used at counselling centres, play therapy is also being used at critical-incident settings, such as hospitals and domestic violence shelters to help children deal with deep issues.
In regular lives, parents can encourage their kids to play indoors and outdoors and especially in nature. Lawrence J. Cohen has created an approach called ‘Playful Parenting’, in which parents are encouraged to connect playfully with their children through silliness, laughter, and roughhousing to enhance relationships and general well being.
Challenges are a part of life. While the purpose of therapy is to solve problems, playing for the sake of fun can prevent them. This can be applied not only for children but for the inner child in every individual to make life happier and more meaningful. As the proverb goes – All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Singaporeans spend most of their time at their workplaces, and in some sense, their workplace is their second home, and now, their workplace could be their home. How do we consider our colleagues? Are they like family to us? Are we working in a supportive environment?
Many a time, the workplace health and mental well-being of employees are compromised as business organisations focus on driving revenues and profits with little attention to safety, health and wellness of the staff. The impact of these is the negative effect on job-related attitude and job performance. In some instances, some workers may develop mental health issues such as anxiety or depression over time if they are too overwhelmed. As such, there is an increasing need for employers to acknowledge the positive correlation between having good mental health in their workers and the productivity and success of the business.
Across all workplaces, we need to step up and start considering ‘wrap-around strategies’ to counter the negative effects of excessive work on employees’ mental health, one of which includes unhealthy stress levels especially when it’s so easy to blur the boundaries of work and personal time while we work from home. Organisations usually conduct one-off mental health awareness programmes as an attempt to spread awareness among employees in the hope of reducing the occurrence of mental health issues. However, by making these awareness programmes an annual occurrence, employees tend to find it a dread, and the messages no longer get through to them as effectively. On the other hand, how many employees would attend the programme if it were to be on a voluntary basis? Many companies are aware of this but are still trying to find the right balance between promoting mental wellbeing and business sustainability.
Employers and HR practitioners have to accept that mental health issues are more often than not deep-rooted, and cannot be solved easily with such band-aid solutions (as most people would expect). This calls for wrap-around strategies, which would mean tackling mental health issues at the fundamental level and preventing problems from cropping up in the first place. It is in no one’s interests to try tackling the situation only when things get out of hand.
Having the right mindset and attitude is pivotal. We need to start thinking of our employees as our very own family members. If so, what can we do to make them happy? Do we have a framework for a healthy workplace? Are there plans in place to provide employees with the necessary support? For one, organisations can take the first step to introduce more flexibility into the workplace, with working from home being a mandatory option these days, it is the most opportune moment to reframe workflow processes for the longer term. This includes creating a flatter hierarchy, where there are fewer layers of management and less formal divisions between the higher-ups and the rest of the staff. Employees will thus be more involved in decision-making processes, creating a greater sense of ownership and accountability. The greater involvement of staff in the organisation will allow them to develop into more confident and capable workers, as well as enhance employee satisfaction. With greater employee satisfaction comes a greater sense of empowerment and motivation – factors that are crucial towards the productivity of the organisation.
Do we need to start thinking of what are the overlooked essentials of employee wellbeing? In your organisation, what is the decision-making process (in terms of policies and other forms of red tape) like? At present, most workplaces have a ‘top-down’ approach, where decisions are made by the senior management of the organisation and information is then cascaded downwards to the lower levels. In such cases, the staff are not given a voice and have no contribution to any of the decision-making processes. In contrast, when employees are given a chance to contribute their ideas, this encourages employee engagement and motivates them to put in greater efforts to overcome challenges. In turn, employees will certainly gain a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Hence, while it is true that not all work-related decisions can be made by the middle or lower tier of the corporate hierarchy, organisations should allow employees some level of discretion and autonomy to provide feedback or inputs to the decision-making process where possible. Organisations that succeed at providing the autonomy, social connections and support to their employees are better able to foster physical and mental well-being.
Needless to say, a flatter organisation would be counter-productive if the supervisors or senior management are unwilling to let go of micro-management and to show care for their employees. Managers and supervisors should start making an effort to check in with their subordinates and to ensure that they are coping well with their workload. Moreover, this should occur frequently, rather than being a one-off occurrence. Perhaps the head of each department could act as a “Welfare Ambassador”, and check-in with the employees within the same department. Getting to know the people in the same team better will allow them to identify any mental health symptoms, no matter how small. One way to get it started would be to allocate mini bonding sessions daily, each lasting approximately 15 minutes (even if it is just a short video call check-in). During this time, take turns to talk about your day, or about any difficulties that you may be encountering. relationships and social support with co-workers can improve emotional connections and ease any mental stress and burden. Such baby steps will help develop the camaraderie among teams and improve everyone’s overall well-being in the long-run. However, Managers do need to take note that they are not professional counsellors and would need to draw healthy boundaries for themselves so as to not be overwhelmed by the transference of emotional issues. Learn to, for your own safety of boundaries, to openly and healthily bring up the subject of steering an emotionally and/or mentally troubled employee to seek professional help. Remember, there is no shame in seeking help.
Organisational structure aside, it is also important to ensure that the workplace has a conducive environment – one that fosters overall well-being of the staff. All work and no play will eventually take a toll on the employees’ health, both mentally and physically. If space constraint is not a problem, try allocating a room for staff to take short mental breaks. In other words, have a “chill” room! Do take note that this should be a separate space from the staff pantry, where employees usually have their meals or to grab a quick drink. Mental-break rooms, on the other hand, can be used for socialising or for employees to take a short rest. Such a room can be decorated in an informal style, with more comfortable furniture. There is absolutely no harm in placing a few beanbags or some sort for employees to relax on whenever they feel overwhelmed by their hectic schedules. For those working at home, perhaps remind them to take mental health breaks. HR could schedule it into company calendars as a reminder and these small steps could foster greater trust between employees and the company. Trust that their welfare is being considered in decisions and that they are not just a tool or a means to the company’s bottom line, but a life that they now also have a responsibility to steward.
In short, mental well-being is important for a productive workforce and a healthy workplace.We need to create an environment where employees feel welcomed and safe. Workplace mental health is not – and should not be – an issue that we sweep under the rug. We need to acknowledge that providing support to the colleagues around us holds great importance and that we cannot simply cast them aside, leaving them to deal with their troubles alone. Ultimately, assisting your employees and ensuring they have the best mental health support will go a long way.
Being in the rat race can be exhausting, especially when we feel the need to constantly measure up. With the majority of us being brought up in a competitive culture, we tend to compare and be compared against others in terms of our achievements and levels of success. In some way or another, there is also a certain mindset that we should feel a certain level of shame or guilt if we are not as high performing (i.e. productive) as we should be. However, we failed to recognise that our productivity is not all there is to determine our self-worth. We cannot measure our own self- worth or self-value based on what we can or have achieved. Our unique qualities, as well as our intrinsic values, are all factors that contribute to what makes us truly ourselves. We need to focus less on external yardsticks and appreciate our inner qualities. Falling into the misguided notion of equating our state of busyness or productivity to our self-worth will lead to unnecessary stress and other health-related issues – both mentally and physically.
People who tend to beat themselves up for the various things that they were unable to complete rather than acknowledging what they have actually accomplished will experience low levels of self-worth. In fact, for these individuals, the amount of praise they give themselves is much lower than the amount of self-blame when they fail to get things done. Surely, a common measurement of productivity is the number of materialistic accomplishments. But it is also a common misunderstanding that busyness is a reflection of productivity. The misconception is that when a person is ‘too free’, he is being unproductive.
Productivity, unlike what most would expect, isn’t about getting as much done as you can and checking off every task on your to-do list. Productivity isn’t just about producing more. Instead, it is about focusing and spending time on the right things. There is a difference between spending your precious time and energy on a multitude of tasks that aren’t nearly as important, as compared to accomplishing a few things that matter the most to you. Our point is – try doing some soul-searching, and understand what you truly value or what are the things that define you. This will help you to refocus your time and energy on what you actually want to accomplish at work and in your personal time. If you treasure familial relationships more than work, then allocating more time towards family bonding will seemingly be more productive, and time well-spent. Redirecting your energy towards what you value most is what ultimately contributes to your self-worth as by doing so, we focus more on our intrinsic self.
We need to recognise that self-worth is the opinion we have about ourselves and the value we placed on ourselves. Under most circumstances, we can safely say that our productivity is not equivalent to our self-worth. Firstly, it is of utmost importance that we stop comparing ourselves to others. Although easier said than done, we need to come to terms with the fact that people are bound to walk down different paths. What is important to them may not matter even the slightest bit to you. Similarly, what they have achieved shouldn’t automatically become your personal goal just to match up to them. The more we compare ourselves to others’ achievements, the less satisfied we will be with ourselves and the lower our self-esteem becomes. Needless to say, this becomes totally self-defeating.
Perhaps you’ve heard of the common saying that we should always “focus on the process, not the outcome, and you will enjoy great success”? In light of this, the only being we should be comparing ourselves to is our past self. Are you doing better than before? Are you allocating time for self-improvement and self-appreciation?
This leads us to our next point – we need to cut down on excessive self-criticism and self-blame. Instead, embrace and accept our flaws. As humans, we are all inherently flawed. However, no one should have to believe that he or she is less worthy, inadequate or inferior due to his or her flaws. Viewing your weaknesses from such an angle will only cause your self-confidence to plummet. Instead, think about how you can change your bad habits, if these were your flaws for example, and improve on yourself. Getting yourself on the road to becoming a better version of yourself will prove to be more effective in raising your self-worth than by using productivity or the number of tasks you got done as a mode of measurement.
As mentioned, we all have our own unique qualities that distinguish us from others. It is important that we recognise and appreciate them, for they make us one of a kind. If you ever feel down in the dumps, with feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy, it helps to remind yourself that you are more than that. Grab a piece of paper and list down your positive traits and things that you appreciate about yourself. Doing some inner-search and writing down words of affirmation can definitely lift your spirits and help you regain your self-esteem.
With that being said, some may still find it tough to detach themselves from counting on productivity-based self-worth. After all, it may have become a habit, having been brought up with such a mindset. However, we need to note that this becomes a problem if it causes us to succumb to unhealthy levels of stress and anxiety, especially if we overload ourselves with too much work and aspirations in an attempt to boost our self-worth. If you find yourself overwhelmed and unable to cope, we hope you’ll seek help from professionals for the sake of your mental wellbeing in the long run. Do reach out to us whenever deemed necessary.